shit is so fucking frustrating.

90% of the time lately i'm doing well.

i just feel fuckin abandoned. i never thought that she would just drop me cold like this.

at the same time (and even before) she was saving my life i was giving meaning to hers. giving hope to hers. turning her ankh rightsideup again.

and i mean honestly my life is really really good. and i have so so so much to be thankful for.

but i just feel fucking cold.

as kate got sicker i always knew her hurts without her telling me. as many as a person can know, really. it was drops in a bucket that never filled up, i know, but that's what love is right? knowing someone's hurts without them telling you and doing all you can?

and sara knew my hurts. she understood how hard i was trying and how frustrated and confused and then later destroyed i was. i mean she could tell by the way i'd lie in bed almost exactly what my mood was to the point it was scary. and i was getting pretty close with her too.

"traded in for a summer fling" -sage...

fuck and i KNOW i made mistakes and i KNOW that 3 years apart ain't exactly the backbone of a healthy relationship but i just want to be like baby you have been my best friend for so long now and nobody will know what you know. nobody will see what you saw. nobody will know without me telling because i don't want to tell stories for sympathy i just want silent understanding. i want it so bad.

I'm hopeful that this forum will be of help to people who are going through things that they may find difficult to share with family/friends. Thanks for setting this up.

it doesnt just have to be OKPs.... there may be other people who want to reach out.

This blog is designed to be a sort of support group for okayplayers (or, as has been mentioned, anyone who would like to contribute) who either are or have suffered from some sort of depression, grief, or some sort of sadness.
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Some of us don't have too many people in our daily lives who we can go to with things, so this is a way for us to join together and try and keep ourselves happy and healthy.

Be positive, ya'll.